A married couple was in a car when the wife turned to her husband and asked, "Would you like to stop for a coffee?"
"No, thanks," he answered truthfully. So they didn't stop.
The result? The wife, who had indeed wanted to stop, became annoyed because she felt her preference had not been considered. The husband, seeing his wife was angry, became frustrated. Why didn't she just say what she wanted?
Unfortunately, he failed to see that his wife was asking the question not to get an instant decision, but to begin a negotiation. And the woman didn't realize that when her husband said no, he was just expressing his preference, not making a ruling. When a man and woman interpret the same interchange in such conflicting ways, it's no wonder they can find themselves leveling angry charges of selfishness and obstinacy at each other.
As a specialist in linguistics, I have studied how the conversational styles of men and women differ. We cannot lump all men or all women into fixed categories. But the seemingly senseless misunderstandings that haunt our relationships can in part be explained by the different conversational rules by which men and women play.
Whenever I write or speak about this subject, people tell me they are relieved to learn that what has caused them trouble - and what they had previously ascribed to personal failings - is, in fact, very common.
Learning about the different though equally valid conversational frequencies men and women are tuned to can help banish the blame and help us truly talk to one another. Here are some of the most common areas of conflict:
Status vs. Support.
Men grow up in a world in which a conversation is often a contest, either to achieve the upper hand or to prevent other people from pushing them around. For women, however, talking is often a way to exchange confirmation and support.
I saw this when my husband and I had jobs in different cities. People frequently made comments like, "That must be rough," and "How do you stand it?" I accepted their sympathy and sometimes even reinforced it, saying, "The worst part is having to pack and unpack al the time."
But my husband often reacted with irritation. Our situation had advantages, he would explain. As academics, we had four-day weekends together, as well as long vacations throughout the year and four months in the summer.
Everything he said was true, but I didn't understand why he chose to say it. He told me that some of the comments implied: "Yours is not a real marriage. I am superior to you because my wife and I have avoided your misfortune." Until then it had not occurred to me there might be an element of one- upmanship.
I now see that my husband was simply approaching the world as many men do: as a place where people try to achieve and maintain status. I, on the other hand, was approaching the world as many women do: as a network of connections seeking support and consensus.
Independence vs. Intimacy.
Since women often think in terms of closeness and support, they struggle to preserve intimacy. Men, concerned with status, tend to focus more on independence. These traits can lead women and men to starkly different views of the same situation.
When Josh's old high-school friend called him at work to say he'd be in town, Josh invited him to stay for the weekend. That evening he told Linda they were having a house guest.
Linda was upset. How could Josh make these plans without discussing them with her beforehand? She would never do that to him. "Why don't you tell your friend you have to check with your wife?" she asked.
Josh replied, "I can't tell my friend, 'I have to ask my wife for permission'!"
To Josh, checking with his wife would mean he was not free to act on his own. It would make him feel like a child or an underling. But Linda actually enjoys telling someone, "I have to check with Josh." It makes her feel good to show that her life is intertwined with her husband's.
Advice vs. Understanding.
Eve had a benign lump removed from her breast. When she confided to her husband, Mark, that she was distressed because the stitches changed the contour of her breast, he answered, "You can always have plastic surgery."
This comment bothered her. "I'm sorry you don't like the way it looks," she protested. "But I'm not having any more surgery!"
Mark was hurt and puzzled. "I don't care about a scar," he replied. "It doesn't bother me at all."
"Then why are you telling me to have plastic surgery?" she asked.
"Because you were upset about the way it looks."
Eve felt like a heel. Mark had been wonderfully supportive throughout her surgery. How could she snap at him now?
The problem stemmed from a difference in approach. To many men a complaint is a challenge to come up with a solution. Mark thought he was reassuring Eve by telling her there was something she could do about her scar. But often women are looking for emotional support, not solutions.
When my mother tells my father she doesn't feel well, he invariably offers to take her to the doctor. Invariably, she is disappointed with his reaction. Like many men, he is focused on what he can do, whereas she wants sympathy.
Information vs. Feelings.
A cartoon shows a husband opening a newspaper and asking his wife, "Is there anything you'd like to say to me before I start reading the paper?" We know there isn't - but that as soon as the man begins reading, his wife will think of something.
The cartoon is funny because people recognize their own experience in it. What's not funny is that many women are hurt when men don't talk to them at home, and many men are frustrated when they disappoint their partners without knowing why.
Rebecca, who is happily married, told me this is a source of dissatisfaction with her husband, Stuart. When she tells him what she is thinking, he listens silently. When she asks him what is on his mind, he says, "Nothing."
All Rebecca's life she has had practice in verbalizing her feelings with friends and relatives. But Stuart has had practice in keeping his innermost thoughts to himself. To him, like most men, talk is information. He doesn't feel that talk is required at home.
Yet many such men hold center stage in a social setting, telling jokes and stories. They use conversation to claim attention and to entertain. Women can wind up hurt that their husbands tell relative strangers things they have not told them.
To avoid this kind of misunderstanding, both men and women can make adjustments. A woman may observe a man's desire to read the paper without seeing it is a rejection. And a man can understand a woman's desire to talk without feeling it is a manipulative intrusion.
Orders vs. Proposals.
Diana often begins statements with "Let's." She might say "Let's park over there" or "Let's clean up now, before lunch."
This makes Nathan angry. He has deciphered Diana's "Let's" as a command. Like most men, he resists being told what to do. But to Diana, she is making suggestions, not demands. Like most women, she formulates her requests as proposals rather than orders. Her style of talking is a way of getting others to do what she wants - but by winning agreement first.
With certain men, like Nathan, this tactic backfires. If they perceive someone is trying to get them to do something indirectly, they feel manipulated and respond more resentfully than they would to a straightforward request.
Conflict vs. Compromise.
In trying to prevent fights, some women refuse to oppose the will of others openly. But sometimes it's far more effective for a woman to assert herself, even at the risk of conflict.
Dora was frustrated by a series of used cars she drove. It was she who commuted to work, but her husband, Hank, who chose the cars. Hank always went for cars that were "interesting" but in continual need of repair.
After Dora was nearly killed when her brakes failed, they were in the market for yet another used car. Dora wanted to buy a late-model sedan from a friend. Hank fixed his sights on a 15-year-old sports car. She tried to persuade Hank that it made more sense to buy the boring but dependable car, but he would not be swayed.
Previously she would have acceded to his wishes. This time Dora bought the boring but dependable car and steeled herself for Hanks' anger. To her amazement, he spoke not a word of remonstrance. When she later told him what she had expected, he scoffed at her fears and said she should have done what she wanted from the start if she felt that strongly about it.
As Dora discovered, a little conflict won't kill you. At the same time, men who habitually oppose others can adjust their style to opt for less confrontation.
When we don't see style differences for what they are, we sometimes draw unfair conclusions: "You're illogical," "You're self- centered," "You don't care about me." But once we grasp the two characteristic approaches, we stand a better chance of preventing disagreements from spiraling out of control.
Learning the other's ways of talking is a leap across the communication gap between men and women, and a giant step towards genuine understanding.
1 hr 33 min 8 sec - Dec 17, 2007
Average rating: 
Description: If you have just purchased your Nikon D80, the controls on the outside of the camera coupled with all the menus and custom settings can be downright overwhelming. We give you a structure for looking at the controls as well as a repeatable ritual for taking great photos with your new camera. You spent a bundle on this camera. Let it be an extension of your hands rather than a struggle. The Nikon D80 is a powerful piece of equipment. A solid understanding of its features and controls can really unleash its potential. Once you learn how the camera's components work together, you'll have all the tools you need to capture the best image under all conditions. Understanding AF Area Selections Topics include: • Be Prepared (To Get the Shot) • Shutter Priority • Aperture Priority/Depth of Field • Focus Alternatives • Metering and Bracketing • White Balance/Color Temperature • ISO • Playback Options / Image Review • Understanding Histograms • Exposure Compensation • Flash Overview • Custom Settings • Tripods and Telephoto Lenses • Programmable Buttons • RAW (NEF) Files • Composition • My Menus • And much more! Kelvin and Carbon Bracketing versus Post Processing Shutter Priority to Achieve the Effect You Want Self Timer and Delay for Rock Solid Results Take great pictures with your Nikon D80! All you need is this training DVD and about 93 minutes, and you'll have the knowledge and the confidence to create the images you want. The topics are arranged in chapters, so you can move at your own pace, and return later to individual subjects.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7496130452053779254&pr=goog-sl
Three Days and Three Nights
"...they seek a sign; and there shall no sign be given it,
but the sign of Jonah the prophet." (Luke 11:29)
Bible scholars have tried for centuries to figure out what Jesus meant about the sign of Jonah. God now gives this as a sign that you would know I tell you the truth: America, if we turn our backs on Him, He will turn His back on us. And yet, His desire is for the unbeliever, seek God and live.
THREE DAYS AND THREE NIGHTS
IN THE BELLY OF THE WHALE
Because I have made bold statements of faith, a group of atheists challenged me about what Jesus said:
"An evil and adulterous generation seeks after a sign, and no sign will be given to it except the sign of the prophet Jonah. For as Jonah was three days and three nights in the whale's belly, so shall the Son of man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth" (Mt 12:40)
It was the atheist's contention that according to the Bible, Jesus did not spend three days and three nights in the "heart of the earth" (or "tomb" as they saw it).
I know there are many long scholarly explanations about this, but none of them seemed right, so I asked God if He would explain it to me in His word. No sooner had I asked than I heard that small voice say, "It began before He was crucified."
What I have written is what I found when I sought confirmation in the Bible. Since this "debate" with 10-14 atheists, three atheists have contacted me to talk more about God, two have asked for prayer to believe, and the remaining seriously plotted to kill me.
The Sign:
Was this sign to mean Jesus would die and rise after three days and three nights sealed in a tomb? Lazarus had just risen from death in a tomb after FOUR days and the Pharisees who wanted a sign were very aware of it. Did Jesus mean to repeat this miracle, for fewer days, and offer it as a sign? No, the sign was much more than rising from the dead after three days and nights in a tomb. The sign was to immerse Himself in our sins, separated from God as Jonah prophesied, where God would not hear, pay for our sins with suffering, death and on the third day rise again.
The Scripture:
"...so shall the Son of man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth" (Mt 12:40)
The Bible shows us that the "whale's belly" or the "heart of the earth" began for Jesus on the night He was betrayed, immediately after He performed His last healing miracle, when He was "delivered into the hands of men" and became sin:
"For He has made Him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him." (2 Cor 5:21)
Jesus was separated from God and immersed in our sin on the night He was betrayed. Something far more shocking to His being than physical death, the first time in all eternity that Jesus was separated from the Father. I can show you the Scriptures. Please hear me out…
Scriptures repeatedly show the "earth" to be man's heart, which the Bible says is exceedingly wicked. (proof of this later). As Scriptures indicate, Jesus became sin on the night He was betrayed, included suffering, the crucifixion, death and resurrection, totaling three days and three nights.
Jesus, as the sacrificial lamb, was without blemish on the night He was betrayed:
"[We were redeemed]… with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot." (1 Peter 1:19)
Of course this refers to Jesus being sinless, yet the lamb was to be perfect in every way. The precious blood could not flow or be wasted before the sacrifice began. The blood began to flow on the night He was betrayed.
"He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities, the chastisement of our peace [prosperity, welfare] was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed" (Isaiah 53:5)
If the sign that Jesus gave was completed only by His death, time in the grave and resurrection, how was payment made earlier when He was wounded, bruised and given stripes (scourged)? Was He beaten and bleeding before He became sin? Were the bruises and bleeding for nothing? No! Was the Lamb delivered for the sacrifice already bloodied and torn? No!
"He was wounded for our transgressions..." (Isaiah 53:5)
"He has made Him to be sin for us...that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him."
(2 Cor 5:21)
Christ had to become sin before payment could begin or the blood would be wasted. The chastisement "was upon Him." The miracle of Christ's redemption began on Thursday night when Christ became sin, the night He was betrayed, immersed in our sins and delivered unto man. Before the first drop of His precious blood, Jesus suffered far more than physical death, He became sin which separated Him from His Father, in the heart of the earth, in the belly of the whale..
Verses that show sin separates us from God:
"But your iniquities have separated
you from your God,
and your sins have hidden His face from you, that He will not hear."
(Isaiah 59:2)
"If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me."
(Psalm 66:18)
Scripture Confirms the Sequence:
I did a computer check and found a total of 12 scripture verses that contained the "three days" or "third day" time frame. EVERY SINGLE ONE began the sequence by starting with the betrayal or suffering. It was never left out.
Understand this. Not once was what happened on "the night He was betrayed" omitted when the three day sequence was outlined in the Bible, not once. 12 out of 12 times a witness came up to bat and laid out the sequence beginning Thursday night, described as either the night He was delivered into the hands of men or the brutality He went through referencing that time. (below are three, see all twelve verses at end of this message)
1. "Saying, the Son of man must suffer many things, and be rejected of the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be slain, and be raised the third day." (Luke 9:22)
2. "Jesus said unto them, the Son of man shall be betrayed into the hands of man; and they shall kill Him, and the third day He shall be raised again." (Matthew 17:22)
3. "and they shall mock Him, and shall scourge Him, and shall spit upon Him, and shall kill Him, and the third day He shall rise again." (Mark 10:34)
NO WHERE does it only say, "The Son of man must die and the third day rise again" without listing the full sequence, including suffering. (there is one scripture which is a quote of what the Pharisees (bad guys) said, which of course, they were clueless. Interesting that only the bad guys were able to repeat it wrong.)
Twelve out of twelve times is NOT a coincidence.
"The Heart of the Earth"
Many have assumed this indicates Jesus in the tomb. Yet, there are countless Scriptures that indicate "earth" is the heart of man, which the Bible says is exceedingly wicked. Thus when Jesus became sin, He was in the "heart of the earth."
Jesus Himself used "earth" many times when He referred to man's heart. The "four soils" parable (originally "earth" in Scripture, Greek and KJV) confirms that earth is used to describe the heart of man. The importance of this is exemplified, for when the disciples asked Jesus to explain the parable, He said,
"Know you not this parable? How then will you know all parables?" (Mk 4:13)
Jesus then explains that the seed that was sown in the earth is:"...the word that was sown in their hearts." (Mark 4:15)
The "faith of a mustard seed" parable is also planted in the earth and the earth signifies man's heart; and the talents were also "hidden in the earth" by the lazy servant. Suddenly so many other verses that include the earth make sense to me. The treasure hidden in a field, etc. are all about man's heart.
Additionally, 1 Cor 15:47 says,
"The first man is of the earth, earthy; the second man is the Lord from heaven." (speaking of Adam and Jesus)
Jesus entered the "heart of the earth" or the "heart of man" as the parables often point out, when He fulfilled prophesy and BECAME SIN.
"And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thought of his heart was only evil continually..." (Genesis 6:5-12)
"But we are all like an unclean thing, and all our righteousness are like filthy rags." (Isaiah 64:6)
There are dozens of Scriptures that depict mankind as the "earth" expressing emotions and reactions as men's hearts.
Even the original Greek word in the Scripture for "heart" is kardia:
kardia; prol. from a primary (Lat. cor, "heart); the heart, i.e. (fig) the thoughts or feelings (mind). [Strongs Exhaustive Conc.]
An Interesting Twist: The Man in Linen
Mark 14:50 says that when the soldiers took Jesus,
"They [His followers] all forsook Him and fled. And there followed Him a certain young man, having a linen cloth cast about his naked body; and the young men laid hold on him: and he left the linen cloth, and fled from them naked."
Ever wonder about that verse?...
Revelation 19:8 says
"linen is the righteousness of saints."
Again, 2 Cor 5:21 says
"for He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him."
The righteousness of the saints, the linen, was left by this spiritual being as men [soldiers] took hold of him, and he fled naked as Jesus was arrested. When Adam sinned and ate the fruit,
"he knew that he was naked and hid from God among the trees of the garden (Genesis 3:7-8)
When Adam sinned and when Jesus became sin, both times righteousness was removed, nakedness was revealed, somebody fled and hid. I don't know who this "spiritual being" was as it is controversial in Daniel 10:5 as well.
Adam sinned and thus the fall. Jesus was the second Adam who became sin and bought us back by His blood. When this event happened, Jesus was delivered into the hands of men and was beaten, bruised and scourged. He bled the precious blood to redeem us. It was the lamb's blood that was painted on the doorposts in
"He was wounded for our transgressions".
Jesus delivered Himself into the hands of men, without blemish, while a spiritual being wearing linen followed. (I think this was Melchizedek but I'm not a scholar). The linen was left by this spiritual being as men took hold of him. Jesus became sin and the "righteousness of the saints" (which we have only in Christ) was removed… the linen was left, the precious blood began to flow, payment had begun; and Jesus, separated from God because He became sin, was in the "heart of the earth," the belly of the whale.
I believe this "certain man," was the spiritual being that Daniel described in Daniel 10:5, "Then I lifted up mine eyes, and looked and behold a certain man clothed in linen…" compares to a certain young man, having a linen cloth…SAME description. This spiritual being was wearing linen.
The Prophetic Prayer of Jonah shows the sequence of Jesus in "the heart of man."
"For as Jonah was three days and three nights in the whale's belly, so shall the Son of man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth" (Mt 12:40)
Jonah's prayer begins in the "belly of the whale" to which Jesus compared his fate. It was not only Jesus' time in death, but becoming sin and separated from God (hell) which Jesus bore beginning Thursday night with immediate bleeding and beatings. Jonah said:
"I cried by reason of mine affliction unto the Lord, and He heard me; out of the belly of hell cried I, and thou heardest my voice. For thou hadst cast me into the deep, in the midst of the seas; and the floods compassed me about, all thy billows and waves passed over me. I have been cast out of Your sight; Yet I will look again toward Your holy temple..."
"Billows and waves" passed over Jonah. I wonder if the poundings suffered by Jesus began to feel like far away billows (breakers) and waves as He clung on to consciousness.
The verse indicates separation and suffering. At this point Jesus was separated from God, became sin and beaten. Imagine how that must have felt, no other place in time in ALL ETERNITY had Jesus EVER been separated from His Father! What a shock to His system! No wonder He sweat blood as the hour drew near.
Jonah's prayer continues:
"The waters compassed me about, even to the soul: the depth closed me round about, the weeds were wrapped about my head. [as the linen cloths in burial, death] I went down to the bottoms of the mountains; the earth with her bars was about me for ever: (Jonah 2:2-6a)
Notice Jonah begins this ordeal already in "hell" (as Jesus became immersed in man's sin) then halfway through his prayer, Jonah arrived in Sheol, (death) going down below the mountains just as Sheol is described in Deut. 32:22. Being in the "heart of the earth" (hell) was to be apart from God, made sin, wounded, along with the crucifixion and THEN he goes down to the bottom of the mountains, after spending time being cast out and billowed by waves. This describes Jesus being separated from God, delivered, beaten and suffering all "in the belly of the whale" and then going down yet further to the depths (death) just as Jonah did.
Notice Jonah, too, was cast out of God's sight, separated from God, just as Jesus was when He became sin. If Jesus compared His experience to Jonah's, and Jonah was cast from God's sight in the FIRST half of Jonah's descent, how did that relate to where Jesus was?
Understand this, Jonah was being afflicted but he had already been cast from God's sight. Jesus was being beaten but He was already cast from God. How? Why? Because He had BECOME SIN, He was immersed in the wickedness of man's heart, the heart of the earth. The grave or the tomb could not separate Jesus from God, only sin would.
"Where can I go
from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in Sheol [death, hell], behold, You are there."
(Psalm 139:7,8)
The grave, death, not even hell separate us from God, only sin does. Only immersed in sin (the heart of man) could put Jesus in the belly of the whale. And THAT is why He sweat blood; not during torture, not standing before Pilate, not facing the cross, but on the night He faced the hour of separation from the Father. The night His righteousness was removed and He BECAME SIN. It was the night He was betrayed, exactly three days and three nights before He rose again.
Other Bible Puzzle Pieces that Fit:
Jesus made statements that indicated the transition. On the night He was betrayed, the very words after healing the servant's ear, Jesus said to those arresting Him:
"But this is your hour, and the power of darkness" (Luke 22:53)
After Jesus was betrayed, He said very little. I believe Jesus did not speak in God's authority from that time on, as His relationship with God had been severed. Jesus DID say,
"but now My kingdom is not from here." (John 18:36)
Before Jesus was arrested, He said,
"For I have given [past tense] unto them the words which You have given to Me." (John 17:8)
I believe Jesus was so quiet from the point of His arrest because He did not have the words of the Father once He became sin, the relationship, the communication had been broken.
Few words were spoken by Jesus after His arrest, yet the Scriptures stating Jesus would say nothing were completely fulfilled because Pilate realized that only Herod had jurisdiction over the situation. In front of Herod, where it mattered, Jesus would not say a single word, not one, and the Scriptures remain completely fulfilled:
"Then he questioned Him with many words, but He answered him nothing. And the chief priests and scribes stood and vehemently accused Him."
(Luke 23)
His last miracle aside from the cross was the healing of an ear when He was arrested, seconds before the "certain young man in linen" appeared and Jesus was "officially" betrayed, actually made sin, actually in the heart of the earth/belly of the whale.
God's Purpose:
One of the atheists demanded, "Why would God reveal this to YOU rather than all these scholars, after all these years?"
Because I'm some great holy prophet that can hear from God? ...NOT! My confessions are all over this website, so many that it's hard to know my family and friends can read them. There is sincerely no one less worthy than me. But I asked on behalf of the lost, and God's desire is for the lost, He will leave the 99 for a single lost soul. It is God's love reaching out to those who reject Him still, though they mock and hate me for showing them.
Jesus said that no sign would be given except the sign of Jonah...
"This is an evil generation: they seek a sign; and there shall no sign be given it, but the sign of the prophet Jonah" (Luke 11:29)
I find it remarkable that these lost souls, some of them so full of hate toward me that they sought to kill me, are so precious to God that He went to such lengths to give them the only sign that He said would be given: the sign of Jonah. God will not break His word, yet He provided for them this sign, the very one they chose to challenge my faith, the sign of the prophet Jonah.
If you do not know God, know this, you are precious to Him, more precious than my comfort, more precious than my life on earth, more precious than even the earthly life of His only begotten Son. You are beloved, no matter what you've ever done or said. You are passionately loved by your Holy Father who longs to pour His mercy out upon you. Seek Him and you will find Him. Seek Him and live.
************
Postscript: Jan. 30-31, 2003 Ever since the previous was written, I find so many verses that confirm it. But last night, it was confirmed unequivocally: All of John 3 is given as explanation, but with emphasis on
"He that comes from the earth is earthly...He that comes from heaven is above all." John 3:31
All credit for this article goes to:
http://www.blessedcause.org/BlessedCause%20Exclusives/The%20Sign%20of%20Jonah.htm
